One of the things I have come to enjoy most about blogging is the "kinship" I feel with other bloggers who have similar lifestyles to mine. I most enjoy reading about self-improvement because I am constantly working to improve myself. It's very helpful for my sustained focus when I keep this type of information in the forefront of my thoughts. Maintaining focus is the most important part of working towards one's goals, as any Olympian would agree.
As a wife and mom, my focus has been on my family, and I have, unfortunately, let my own health needs stay on the back burner way too long. This is a trend that has run in my family for generations, and a very hard thing to break. So, I am now in the ever on-going process of not only keeping my focus on track, but also keeping my life in balance so that I can continue to take care of my family (husband plus 3 kids under 8 years old), while also taking care of me.
When I was a single working twenty-something college graduate, I finally came to realize that loving me has to come first before I can truly love others. There is a scripture that says we should love others as we love ourselves. As a single person, it was so easy to just focus in and hone in on my goals and get it done. I had no distractions. So, I lost 50 pounds in six months, and I kept if off for years. I was at my physical peek in my mid-twenties. It felt so good to finally maintain the weight-loss I had struggled with during college.
During this time, my future husband began to court me. When I was single, I had never considered the impact this awesome relationship could have on my weight-maintenance journey. Considering that he is slender and can eat anything without gaining any weight at all, you can imagine that this became a game-changer for my weight-maintenance journey. It wasn't until years later, after we had our first child that I realized I needed to communicate with my husband better about our food choices and the impact it was having on me. So, during our first child's infant stage, we made some awesome changes to our health habits - we "went" vegan. It was wonderful. I lost all of the baby weight and fit easily back into my pre-pregnancy clothes. I had energy and stamina and would walk the baby in her stroller on a regular basis.
However, after our firstborn was 9 months old, we were pregnant again and my waistline and energy level have never been the same since then. With my second pregnancy, I was totally undisciplined in my eating. Vegan flew out the window because I needed the extra iron that meat provides. This is something that is fairly common amongst vegetarians and vegans who are pregnant -- the baby doubles your blood supply needs.
But in addition to eating meat and other animal products, I was eating fast food constantly (addicted to fast food) and not paying any attention to my eating habits at all. So, after our second baby came, I continued my undisciplined eating. I had gained too much momentum going in the wrong direction and just kept going. When I was at my physical peek (1998), I was 138 pounds. I am now 288 pounds (2010).
Warnings to pregnant moms:
don't let yourself get out of control with your eating while pregnant because it is hard to get that discipline back once you're busy taking care of babies. And stay away from fast food and sweets because they are made to be addictive.
During the early part of our marriage, my husband's work hours almost doubled. So, I found myself alone a lot with two babies, and then three babies (our kids are now 4, 6, and 8). Our communication definitely was impacted negatively. We very rarely had time to date each other. The stress of "success" was definitely making its mark. We went through an adjustment phase for some years where we had to become re-grounded and re-prioritize our life. I am so grateful that we came through this challenging time and are now wiser on this end of things.
Healthy Marriage Tips: Do not neglect your marriage dating because you have children. Trust God to provide you with a trustworthy sitter and wisdom for inexpensive dates. One day the kids will be grown and leave you all alone with one another. Openly and honestly communicate about everything with love/compassion/empathy towards your spouse; lay assumptions and accusations aside - your spouse is not your enemy. Timing and location are your friends when dealing with tough issues (e.g., talking about problems during football game or at grocery store may not be very effective)
During my second pregnancy (and third pregnancy which ended in miscarriage), I didn't know this, but part of my health challenges were due to an environmentally caused illness that was affecting my health. After we moved and my health improved, I was then able to focus and realize that my mental health was affected also. I may have also had some affects from being post-partum, but was never diagnosed with depression. I had mood swings that were frequent and pretty severe during this time.
So, I began my journey of inside-out self-improvement because I realized that my journey to more balanced health had to start with spiritual and mental improvement. I am keenly aware that no physical changes will last if my spiritual and mental states are off balance. This process takes more time than a fad diet, but I am willing to take longer and do this thing right so that my life will be changed for good. My goal is not just to fit into an outfit or slim down before an event. My goal is to maintain balance in every area of my life for my whole lifetime.
As a married mother, I am now having to re-learn what I learned as a single woman, but in a "new" context. Loving oneself, after years of neglect while immersed in caring for others, can only come from deep internal changes that manifest on the outside. This is how lasting lifestyle change comes into being.
This process of lifestyle change starts with our own words -- we are creative beings made in the image of God who created the world with His Words (see Genesis 1 and John 1). The impact of being positive and taking authority over your world with your own words is something that only people with strong faith can truly understand. Notice that I didn't say religious people. People who are striving to truly know God can only know Him in the spiritual realm because God is a spirit. This has nothing to do with religion, but with faith - an internal, unshakeable belief and revelation of Truth (God's Word & Promises) that comes from within one's own heart.
When I was single, I daily spoke confessions of God's Word and Promises over my own life that I am still seeing manifested in my reality today. Now, as a married woman, my husband and I have been standing in faith and confessing God's Word and Promises over our family for over 10 years now. We have seen God do very great things. And, as Canton Jones has sung, He keeps on doing great things for me. Alleluia!
So, in summary, keep your focus, stay positive, read God's Word and confess the promises of God over your own life. You'll see great things come to pass because God is good!
Also, let's keep one another encouraged. Leave a comment with your feedback.
I was blessed to read another blog recently that had an excellent post about the
five main healthy changes we need to be mindful of when we're focused on getting real results. Here are my comments:
I love the comprehensiveness of this post.
The mental and spiritual aspects of personal health and wellness are even more vital than the physical aspects because they lay the foundation for a lifetime of healthy living. However, physical changes without the inner changes tend to be fleeting.
I also love the fact that you touched on the importance of communication. People often overlook the very important impact of relationships on our inner health and the corresponding effect on our bodies. When a person’s relationships are causing stress, most of the time it’s best resolved simply by good communication with the other person, face-to-face, not via texting or email.
Many wrong assumptions and false expectations are best exposed through open communication face-to-face, in a non-confrontational way: make sure the timing and setting of your conversation are appropriate and use “I feel” statements coupled with a compassionate/empathetic tone (don’t take an accusatory or blaming tone).
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